Its Complicated!

Back after a long gap. A lot happened meanwhile- shifting home, changing job, lots of paperwork, festivals, fasts and fever bouts, 1 visit and 1 trip, in short a lot to keep mind occupied throughout. Hectic days, occupied thoughts, over-driving brains!
And that’s when I start missing the time-blocks when I had absolutely nothing to do. That is my favorite pastime and relaxation activity – doing absolutely nothing. Just the way animals do.
When I sit idle munching something with no thoughts in my mind but just the pure bliss of munching, I feel like the blissful buffalo relaxing in mud..so serene!
And sometimes when I stand in the balcony, I can see the street dog. We both idly look at each passer by, and sometimes look at each other, sharing the common luxury of lots of free hours and nothing to do.
Life seems so nice that ways.. so uncomplicated.
Biggest luxury in the world, like the richest people and the emperors enjoy is to do nothing, just eat, sleep and take care of themselves. But then again, all animals enjoy the same luxury and that too without any worry or plans in their mind about future. Nor they have any regrets about pasts.
All the stressful activities that add complexities to the life are human creations. See, humans wanted to live in a civilized manner. They started forming shelters. And now the things have became so complicated that nations fight over boundaries, states want separation and we pay ridiculous amount to ‘own’ a piece of land. The land for which, we will pay and rest of the inmates aka insects, birds and other creatures will share it for free.
And paying in terms of? Yes, the almighty money, the currency, whose face value may be nothing, but yet another thing to add complications to life. Then each nation has their different currency, and struggle begins. Growth and development of group of people is measured in terms of strength of its currency.
The concept of money is the most complicated invention by human specie. It is the root cause of hell lot of work to do and problems to solve.
We have to ‘earn’ money, then ‘save’ it, to ‘grow’ it, moreover ‘invest’ it and as if it was not enough, ‘tax planning’ is a task too! To take care of all this stupid stuff for us, there are lots of additional professions. We have banks, accounts, bankers, schemes, investment plans, retirement plans and what not. These words exist only in the homo sapiens’ world. Nature and other species don’t give a damn about it. Whatever be our annual earnings, a natural calamity can sweep our very existence on the planet. No money can help it, it can of course help to recover and rebuild, but to build what? Again these complex civilizations? To gain luxury? Of what? To have enough resources to carry on all the super-hyped idiotic tasks of this virtual world of ours? While these tasks could be conveniently escaped if we live naturally, or like animals.
Look at animals! They have minimum needs and whatever they need, they just get it- without introducing the concept of currency. They compete with each other for survival but they do not slave another being from the same specie, just because they live lighter. They have not burdened themselves with lots of responsibilities around them and thus they don’t need anybody to help them or serve them.

If I were an alien looking at the earth from space, I may would have thought that humans are the weakest specie. After all, they could not survive the environment on the earth. Why else would they shelter themselves up in some stony structures, and always keep themselves covered in some processed plant/animal/made-by-them unevenly cut sheets in different shapes and sizes. And why can’t they just walk in the open? They always need support of some structures, some solid structures they dig from the earth and mould it and some liquid matter which goes into it is again dug up from earth. And they depend on other species for their food largely but only when they feed them, take care of them, in short slave for them to get the food. But even as an evolved alien, I won’t understand few facts. Homo sapiens slave around species like cow, buffalo, hen for their food. But why they slave species like dogs, cats, parrots and even mouse?
As much as I could see from the space, dog is probably the most evolved specie on the earth. A lot of that specie enjoy readymade food without having to hunt for it. Some of them even drag humans by a rope like thing. And humans are no doubt the weakest specie, pertaining to their inability to digest anything. Yes, unlike other animals, they need to process everything before placing it in their food pipe and they need to mix multiple things in order to let it pass through their mouth.
And since they are weakest and can’t do anything better, they spend a lot of time processing their food, changing their covers, creating-destroying-creating-destroying a lot of things that are useless anyways for all life forms other than for them.

Ok now, I am out of alien mode. But I think a lot, humans created money and complications followed. Earning, spending, bargaining, saving, protecting, investing, doubling, insuring, banking, accounting consumes 60% of our time on this earth. And what is the worth of it? 30% of it Just to eat, the n to the power n no. of cuisines, then we fuss about the taste, nutrition, calorie, garnishing, price etc etc
Then the concept of clothing. I don’t understand how this concept came into practice taking into account that most of the animals live in more extreme conditions but never did any other specie welcomed clothes. It was fine if it had remained so- for protection from extreme climatic conditions. But no sir.. we have concepts of various fabrics, colors, designs, cuts, ever-changing fashions, fashion shows, fashion faux paus, brand mania. And worst of it, the definitions of modest/decent/provocative/inappropriate/unfashionable clothing.
And what after all we get after creating so much fuss over these worthless things? The self proclaimed tag of being civilized?
No animal kills any other animal without hunger or self defense reasons. There is nothing like ransom killing, honor killing, revenge killing or dowry killing in their world.
And yes, they do not desire to trample every particle of earth, so they move slow. They do not need any automobile hence, accident deaths are also again a word in human world only. Sometimes, we may do this noble work of killing animals by accident or just for fun or for the love of luxury- our accessories, cosmetics and medicines need their lives. Animals have no pharmacies, still the no. of animals dying of illness is just a tiny fraction of no. of animals that are killed for food, hunting, accidentally or for human experiments. And an amazing piece of knowledge is that in spite of having such big pharma industry in our world, humans are not immortal. May be in future they will get immune to many diseases, but who can save themselves from their own specie!
Animals never pollute or harm environment in any way that can endanger lives on the planet. But no worries! We as a civilized and develop life form can pollute and exploit the planet and then cry over it.
What value are we adding to the universe, and what good are we doing to the other life forms who inhabit the planet?
So questions of life and death was over. What else makes us civilized as we say?
Oh yes, we have ‘families’, ‘societies’, ‘nationalities’, ‘cultures’
They do have. The difference lies in the way they form families. Eg: A male pigeon can choose any female pigeon, and pigeon community won’t create a havoc saying that OMG! that white male chose a grey/dark female!
They won’t ask for each other’s parents whereabouts and status and language would definitely won’t be an issue as all pigeons in the world communicate in same manner. They live with whom they like to.
I really wonder how evolved all the animals are! Throughout the world, the communication is uniform among same species. Also, without using any cutting edge information technology, I wonder how their ‘culture’ remains uniform. Coming back to the family point, it seems they have much more sense of equality for females. In most of the animals, males are physically more attractive than females. Still, they have to compete and woo the female. However good looking and good provider a male is, it cannot harass female’s parents. And patriarchy, rape, molestation, skewed gender ratio etc are not the words in animal dictionary. Oh how much I wish to reincarnate as an animal!
Whatever virtual realities, the cobweb of unnecessary tasks, the tools and technologies to make them easier and the stress caused in all the process… lots of mess we have created around us, and in the end, it all boils down to one question.. is it really worth it? We have limited time on the earth, is it really worth spending it in earning something which has no value elsewhere?
At least all these complications are not worth to interrupt the peace of mind. And don’t know why I am complicating my thought processes by thinking over these complicated matters at this hour (its late night), while all I want to do is to roll up and sleep like a donkey. 😛

Spicy Saturday Pick

Its the pain…

When the sky is heavy with clouds so gray,

And adds to the darkness of the day,

It takes the color of my aching soul,

Pain so intense, my heart can’t hold

 

I’ve never been so absorbed in environ,

Skies comfort me, being my unison,

 

It’s the grief that made universe alive,

It’s the pain that adds beauty to life…

Someday it rains, clearing the skies,

Like tears running through tired eyes,

The world seems brighter after rain,

And heart feels light and clear again

It’s not so bad to cry and whine,

As it makes the way for new sunshine,

I learnt from the blues, unraveled the strife,

It’s the pain that adds beauty to life…

With a disaster comes..

Sometimes, I wish for a disaster. Yes, I actually wish for one. Not a minor one.. a big calamity enough to shake the country; a mishap like an earthquake, or flood and heavy rains, or a terrorist attack. If not, then at least a threat of something dreadful.

Am I sounding insane? Well, this thought is ridiculous. But don’t you think a calamity once a year is better than daily nuisances? And about the loss of life and property? Well, are we people really concerned?  Our country fellows deliberately burn or destroy public or private properties during some strike or even to show the anger after losing a cricket match. About loss of life?  Well, just add up the lives lost in our country in cases of robbery, riots, communal disputes, honour killings, farmer suicides, dowry deaths etc.  If this is going on since ages and nothing is done yet in this direction, then it is perfectly ok if our country faces a disaster a year. At least it bonds us in one link, the thread of patriotism.

When everything is harmonious, we are busy in widening the gap among ourselves. A person who does not belong to our state, or region, or caste, or community is never our own. He is someone alien to us. Regardless of his behavior towards us, or sometimes even without interacting with someone, we develop prejudices and blindly follow them. This indifference often develops into hatred and every community is shouting to save themselves from every other. A group of people wants to expel all other communities from a region and the citizens who really have nothing to do with this hatred driven politics are entangled in this nuisance. In some states, if a person is not speaking in the native language of that region, he is alienated or insulted. This is the story of many regions or states in our country. Instead of focusing of individual qualities, it has become our country culture to make a fuss of useless details like caste, region or mother tongue of a person.

I was reading the movie review of ‘Robot’ on Yahoo a few months back. And I was surprised to notice that instead of the content of movie, something else was going on in comments section. Someone mentioned that the North Indians are much more sensible in movie making, and he felt that south people have no good taste, because they are appreciating the movie. This comment was criticized heavily by south Indians. (Yes everyone mentioned in the comment to which community/state they belong. And the strange thing was that, there was no Indian who sensibly tried to curb the war, but it went on an on with bombarding from both sides.)

And like this was not enough, some folk, mentioning that he is a Malyali, wrote that “Don’t blame all south Indians, Malyali ppl hav much better taste than Tamilians”. Now what was that, I thought! A prompt reply was there from someone “Tamilians should learn from Kannada cinema. They don’t waste money or use technology still make better cinema”. Again this guy also mentioned that he is from Karnataka. And soon, the comments section turned into war front, and was full of nonsense criticism, praising one’s own culture and making fun of all others. And to utter shame, there was a comment from a Non Indian girl “What was this! I could not make out what the movie was all about. But u knw wat, I realized that Indians can fight for no gud reasons!”

And this is just one example. There are thousands of such incidents where we can find someone expressing loudly his biases towards others. We totally forget that every Indian is our very own, an Indian like every one of us.

However, things are totally opposite in times of a disaster. Every Indian truly becomes an Indian. During Gujarat earthquake and floods, and the tsunami, and the Kargil war, support and prayers were offered from every nook and corner of India. Every Indian was there to help every other, and all the self made divisions were blurred and wiped out in tears given by the calamity. India emerged out as a united and strong nation. Even before the Ayodhya verdict, when the tension could be sensed in the air, our people gave an example of mutual understanding and helped in establishing peace and harmony. Imagine how the world will become, if this tolerance continues.

In short, whenever we sense some mishap, we unite. And unfortunately, that is the only time when we unite.

Still, it proves that deep in our heart, we love our country and countrymen. When in problem, everyone seeks support from his family. Same thing happens here. Our soul is still very much Indian, patriotic songs still raise goose bumps and trigger tears.

We all are really innocent people, and this becomes the biggest weakness. Anybody can manipulate our public, divide them and use them for their benefit. Earlier, it was the British. And now, there is a group of people greedy of power. Even after studying history as a compulsory subject, aren’t we able to make out one of the biggest mistakes of our past? No one can dare to divide us if we don’t want to. Is it not the time to stop paying attention and stop creating news about the psycho and greedy people who are happy to see us fighting for their own benefit? Role of media is also crucial in achieving harmony. Instead of making the news about the odious comments against each other, it should encourage the news of tolerance and mutual understanding.

A disaster brings with it a lot of pain and loss, but it also has some lessons to teach us. Let’s not wait for some catastrophe to trigger our love for country, let us try to follow the path of love, understanding and harmony. And it is lot more effortless, as you see, that is the basic nature and philosophy of our country – “Live and Let Live”; that’s the beauty of our culture – “Unity in diversity”.

Remember the song on DD1 in our childhood days, “ek chidiya, anek chidiya….”. With beautiful animations, it spread the messagge

hind desh ke niwasi sabhi jana ek hain,
rang-roop vesh-bhaasha chaahe anek hain

I wish this song could be re-broadcasted on all the channels again!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtam32PMCrw

In our culture..

        Yesterday, I was watching the movie ‘Namaste London’ for 3rd or 4th time. When we watch a movie for n’th time, we are quite distracted from the storyline and pay more attention to the minute details. During the scene of Jazz and Charlie Brown’s engagement, there is a dialogue between a British and our hero Arjun Singh. Explaining him the greatness of our culture, Arjun (Akshay Kumar) says as the concluding line of the conversation that even though we are far better than you people in many aspects, I am folding my hands and bowing my head as ‘namaste’ in front of you, because our culture never teach us to disregard someone . . “ … क्यों्कि मेरी सं्स्क्रुति किसी को छोटा नही समझती..”

        Really!! Is it really so!!! I wish it could be..but I feel sorry to accept the fact, that it is so not true. May be Non-Indians are quite impressed by this philosophy of our culture, but it is so theoretical, that in our practical day to day life, we can find hundreds of contradictions. Not only in remote villages, but it is truth of modern and educated India too, and we can still observe the discrimination due to caste, creed, native places, and financial status. Our culture teaches us never to disrespect anyone, but our ancient caste and religion system is very well misinterpreted to allow a caste or community to swell its ego and on that basis, hate or insult everyone else. Yes, our culture teaches us to fold our hands and bow our heads in front of everyone, coz this way, we are bowing in front of the divine, that lies in each atom and living cell of this universe. However, the females here are frequently insulted and tortured, forgetting that they are also the divine’s creation. And the backwardness of the female community is beautifully wrapped in the great poetries of sacrifices in our culture.

          We people have a habit of calculating and weighing a person before deciding our behavior towards him. This is wise; but our parameters of judgment are often wrong and there lies the problem. In Indian culture, we worship Power.. Symbolically, literally and practically.

       We respect whoever is more powerful than us. (May be becoz we know our God is all powerful and see His reflection in only those who are powerful :P). And we find our self at our polite best in front of a person with higher designation, higher authority etc., but only in front of him. This respect mostly vanishes with or without reason, as it is not for the person but for the power he carries. It is his supremacy that brings out all the courtesy in us.

       On the other hand, we are often back to our primitive instincts while dealing with a person who, being weaker in some aspect, cannot retaliate. We habitually, intentionally or unknowingly, do lots of such things. When we know we are in a state of authority or supremacy, or even in contact of any such person, we hardly miss any chance to exploit it. You-know-who-I-am in any relevant place and Take-50-bucks-n-spare-us to a traffic cop is a common attitude (Again, sorry but I am not an exception to this).

        There is a quote “The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it”. Sadly, in our country, where we tirelessly brag about the moral values while debating against western culture, power becomes a kind of intoxication. One tends to smash all the rules n regulations, crashing discipline beneath our feet. In fact, without breaking any rule or creating any exception for oneself, one does not get the ‘feel’ of being in authority. Any crime is forgivable if you are acquaintance of someone rich or authoritative, or if you are one of them.  And.. hold on! This is possible in our culture only where people-of-influence are above any law. In our country, Power (usually the power of money, of mass or of violence) is above justice, above talent and above wisdom. From VIP queue in religious places to management quota in colleges, our society has created ample narrow lanes so that those who are powerful can surpass any pain. Law and order in our country is like a delicate and flexible soft toy, and the people in power love to play with it.

        Our over-sensitive crowd, when visit a place where discipline is above any ‘You-know-who-I-am’, feel deeply insulted and insecure. Our film stars, politicians and VIP category people cry aloud when subjected to any security check or disciplinary activity in US or somewhere else. Whereas, these people, who are looked upon as ideals should be even more careful in what message are they delivering through their acts.

           Our culture teaches us to worship work. And here only, it is hardly implemented. Not only some jobs like cleaning and sweeping, but even people associated with them are least respected. Moreover, some specific jobs are associated to some specific communities. But it is their culture who do not consider any job as smaller. Every individual has equal right to work in any field of his choice and he is respected, as whatever work he does, he is helping society.

       In the culture, which we think is spoiling our environment, all the VIPs are truly responsible people, and they are co-operative and faithful towards all the rules and regulations. They support in maintaining the law and order (exceptions are here too, of course). In western culture, women are treated with respect and equality. That is the culture where a person is admired for his qualities and talent and a skilled person can ensure a bright future for himself. Unlike ours, where talent and intelligence is buried under the attributes like quotas, permits, region, religion, caste, gender, surname, contacts to biggies etc.

         Thankfully, new generation is able to see beyond what is visible. This generation accused of being influenced by western culture is learning to develop oneself as a skilled individual. They respect their culture and traditions and at the same time, they are willing to discard anything that has become obsolete or hindering our progress. Power, for them, is a thing to be acquired and kept using talents and skills, and not a thing to be worshipped. They don’t keep boasting about their culture, but blend it with the much needed and useful values, may be adopted from other cultures, which only enriches our culture and makes it more applicable and appropriate with the changing world..

Being Failure

One day, I was chatting with a 4’th standard kid Ishaan in my neighborhood. During conversation, I asked him if Rohan is his friend, who stays in same colony, as both are classmates. He replied – ‘Didi, I don’t want to be his friend. You know he is a faillyeear. He is such a bad boy, he’s repeating 4th class.’ Fidgeting his hands, rolling and widening his cute eyes and putting extra stress on the word ‘failure’, he was trying to explain me how terrible it is to fail in 4th standard. Quite amused by his answer, I asked him if Rohan is unclean or untidy at school or does he fight with everyone or something? Thinking for a while, Ishan responded “No”. Then what makes you think he is a ‘bad boy’? I asked. “I told you no, he is a failllyeeaar”-he replied, this time stressing the word even more. “So he is bad at studies, not a bad boy as such.” I enquired. Unable to understand the difference between ‘bad at studies’ and ‘bad boy’, he rolled his eyes.  “As per I know, he is pretty decent, tidy and helping kid. What say?” I asked. To this he responded meekly and engrossed in thinking.

Since school days, I guess we all used to have similar mentality. A classmate who is not good at studies is good for nothing! Not only students, but even teachers had, and still have, similar attitude towards such students. If someone is not good at studies, he is not trusted for any other task too. He is not given any responsibility. Teachers generally assign small tasks like bringing note books from staff room or other such thing to toppers or class captains only, while these trivial jobs do not require proficiency in any subject. All in all, any student who is good at studies is given all highlight and attention, which is of course, well deserved by him. However, the one who deserves more attention, rather, the one who needs more attention is left aloof. A student who is lagging behind in exams always goes unnoticed, and if noticed, everyone express disrespect towards him. In some cases, he is used as a bad example by teachers. His classmates are also disinclined to help him or keep any friendly terms with him and this leads to a social boycott against that innocent child. This makes the situation even worse. Either the child isolates himself from the world around him, or he develops anti-social behavior. All of us must have observed that students who are poor at studies are either very reserved or hyper mischievous. While the first category of children accept all the blames of being duffer and good for nothing, the second category of children tend to prove themselves by using wrong measures. They fight with classmates, trouble everyone around them and this gives them the satisfaction that they can attract the attention this way. Both the situations are unhealthy. These students too are the future of our society.

Children, in the years of their primary school, are too young to know the importance of education or get self motivated towards academics. If they find the school or studies boring, it is not their fault actually. Every child has his own area of interest. Care should be taken to make studies interesting for weaker students. Instead, our system makes the study not only a burden for them by constantly nagging but makes it almost a torture. In this generation, kids are facing pressure like never before. Not only their parents expect them to be a rank holder, but also to excel in some extra curricular. And, this extra curricular is mostly not something that the child is interested in.. but something which is ‘in’ or popular.

Teachers punish the students and parents scold them for not scoring well. Usually, the language is like – “We are taking so much pains and investing in your education, don’t you realize its value…………You have no responsibility other that studying hard.. still u don’t….”. Well, this fact is too much for a primary school child to process. It is unfair to expect from a kid that he will understand the value of anyone’s efforts in educating him. Constantly pointing about academics and results will not only develop repulsion for studies in his mind but will also demoralize him and at some point, he will accept that he cannot do a thing in life and will start behaving like that only.

Our education system mainly consists of mugging up the things and our examinations are predominantly memory tests. Some kids have sharp memory by birth while some find it difficult to concentrate on one thing. These kids may be very creative or artistic, but this hardly helps them to score well in exams. Some children are more active as compared to others and therefore they prefer to play out in open rather than sitting on a desk in classroom for 3-4 hours. We need to understand that every child have different whims and temperament. We cannot judge each of them on same scale and when we do judge, it is unjust to tell apart a child just because he does not fit well on one standard. And worst of all is to call a child ‘failure’ if he is repeating same class.

A kind of obsession is created in every child for success in earliest phase of his life which continues lifelong. In fact, we all are infected with the success obsession. However, we pay very little attention to the fact that success/achievement/accomplishments are different than excellence/quality/dexterity.  It is never considered but it is the root cause for many problems our society is facing which includes decline of moral values. When everyone in the world is worshipping someone for being successful, ignoring his wrong or unlawful deeds, why will he bother to improve? On the other hand, the way we all treat the so called ‘failures’ , it is worst of nightmares for anyone to be one of them. And that is the reason one tends to follow any path, right or wrong, which he suppose will lead to success. One stops being at peace with oneself. The stress and psychological problems are other side effects which are faced everywhere. Keeping everything on stake, all a person lives for is success. It becomes intolerable for him if his dreams shatter. More than being failure, he is afraid of the consequences of failing. Some people even tend to destroy themselves if they could not accomplish success. Imagine how harsh our society is to a failure, that instead of facing it, the person chooses to end his life! It always hurts to come across such news but it is even more painful when it associates to a child or teenager.

Children are the promos of our future.. and we’ll like it to be pleasant. Adults can contribute on their part simply by letting children learn on their own. Whether it is the lessons from school/college or lessons from life, they learn it on their own as per their temperament, needs and inner instincts. All we need to give them is a vision so that they can distinguish right from wrong. All we need to teach them is to take success and failure as a part of life. And this is the most important lesson to learn for us too. The person who learns it neither forgets his ethics and values in success, nor gets shattered in times of failures.

The Pink Group

On my previous post, I received various comments, posted and unposted, that until and unless women stand for their own rights, nothing can help.. I was sure in a mood to write my next post on this topic only. And by chance came across a very good article.

I read an article about the pink brigade or ‘Gulabhi Samuh’  in a daily column written by Ms Veena Nagpal. In a dry and dusty region near Bundelkhand, this pink brigade was formed. It is a group of determined women who denied bearing any domestic violence or exploitation. When the members of this group come to know of any such incident in their vicinity, they dress in pink, carry their bamboo lathis and take the charge of situation. There are more than 10000 members in the group now and it is growing day by day.  The police, law and administrative bodies are well aware of them and are also supportive towards the group. The ladies make it sure that immediate action is taken on any issue raised by them.

All these ladies are illiterate or half literate, but they are fully aware of their human rights. They do not encourage crying and suffering quietly, but they believe in fighting for the justice. The leader of the group, Sampat Pal, is a farmer. She herself tolerated the domestic violence. However, one day she gathered courage and picked up her bamboo lathi against her husband. She vowed never to tolerate this again and since then, her team is growing. These women promote self dependence, self respect, child education and safety. They help in ensuring good upbringing of infant girls and offer support to everyone with similar values. The gravity of the group can be judged by a fact that no one in their vicinity, however rich or powerful, dares to show disrespect for any female. Now many NGOs and social groups are associated with this ‘Gulabi Samuh’ and it is talked about worldwide. Salute to these ladies! Salute to their spirit!

A women may not be educated, may not be independent, may not be financially sound, but she is a human being and has the right to live with respect.  Now it’s time to let everyone learn and respect this fact. And women themselves can play a major role in this. First, by respecting herself, and second by uniting for a right cause in a right way.

Above everything, we all need a thought makeover that enables us to look upon every human with equal respect,  beyond his/her appearance, status or relationship with us.

When a girl is your sister..

Festival of Raksha-bandhan just passed by.. As always, it was a fun filled day for me n all my bros/sis.

Everybody, especially sisters enjoy this festival. However, guys who are really reluctant to become someone’s ‘rakhi brother’ are tensed for the whole day. I was thinking over the psychology that encourages a girl to make someone rakhi brother and also, about the thoughts of a guy on this.

Sometimes it is a sacred and affectionate bond, where a rakhi-brother/sister is equivalent to a real one. I was just thinking about the scenarios where it is not so..

Mostly, there is one reason that a girl tend to tie rakhi to someone. It is usually to justify to the society (and sometimes to the guy himself) that they are just friends and by tying the sacred rakhi, she ends up all other possibilities and hence ends up all controversies. The rakhi brother is someone who is always there for her, who is her best buddy, but due to social or peer pressure, girls prefer to make him brother.

From the guys points of view, being someone’s rakhi brother is sort of punishment. Some guys say that it is a strategy to get expensive gifts and they look upon it as a burden..(Nontheless, gifting something to their real sisters also seems burden to sum guys..) Though this is hardly the reason.

The boys in his gang sympathize for this terrible disaster happened to him.. Now the girl can be nothing else but his sister and now he have to treat the girl with respect.  

Now, the first question that came to my mind is, why is it sooo difficult for a boy to treat a girl like his own sister?? And the only answer to this is that still, we have not learnt to give a female the status of something other than an object. This can be easily observed in our day to day life. Worst abuses in every language of our country are on the name of sister or mother. And this is globally uniform, true for each and every language of the world!

A girl who is traditionally dressed or not fashionable is termed as ’Behenji’. Becoz when a girl becomes ‘behen’, she is not an object. When a girl is his sister, guys automatically need to respect her; she instantly becomes a human being, who deserves respect, care and protection. Ideally, every girl other than one’s life partner should be treated as sister. But actually, every girl other than the sister is looked upon like nothing more than an entertainment package. Agreed that sometimes it is the girl herself who does not deserve respect. But who has given the right to the males to insult or punish her for this?

Every brother is bothered about his sis if she is late from work or if she wants to go out with her male friends.  She becomes his responsibility, as honor of a person is supposed to be associated to his sister in our culture. He won’t allow his sister to be at any place unless he ensures she is safe. Coz he himself being a guy is fully aware of the mentality of other guyz. And who are these other guys? They must themselves are brother of some equally innocent girl. In Indian family structure, it is extremely rare that a boy does not have any sister, real or cousin. And of course, to his sisters, this same boy is a caring, protective brother.  Then why does he become a monster when it comes to other girls!

I guess it is the frustration expressed this way. A female is no more dependent on a male for her survival; let it be father, brother or husband. And this independence hurts the male ego. They make it sure that may not for livelihood, but for protection, women must depend on them. Males treat most of their female relatives –mother, sister or wife- as their possession. A brother who was always very loving and pampering to her dear sister suddenly kills her for the reason that she married a guy of her choice. It drives him insane that how dare a girl, who should be under his thumb, has taken a decision independently. A female of any creature on earth is not as miserable as a human female. And we call ourself civilized!

In spite of every effort, a female is not allowed to live her life as an independent individual.  She is supposed to carry the burden of “khandaan ki izzat” on her shoulders. She can be raped by someone who want to take revenge on her family, without any fault of her. She can be killed anytime for the sake of family’s or community’s honour. She may be killed immediately after birth or even before taking birth for the crime of being a female! A girl is supposed to comply with every means everything that her husband does, let it be drinking or domestic violence or infidelity or financial or physical exploitation, etc etc. I simply hate the decayed and stinking stories in our epics about the dedication of ‘sati- pativrata’ kind of ladies who carried her husband suffering from leprosy on her shoulders to visit a prostitute. There is no lack of such stories in our culture. It drives me nuts how someone could be so deprived of self respect!

A girl cannot spend her life single as no one will let her live single and comfortable at same time. She cannot marry a boy of her choice coz this will ruin her parent’s name in the society. A girl’s parents have to behave docile and sugar-coated always to ensure happiness of their daughter. A girl should return home before it gets dark.

Of course, not all girls are good and innocent. There is a percentage of females indulged in infidelity, destroying homes, taking advantage of being female etc.. but one should agree that this percent is really low.  And again, a woman cannot become so until and unless a man is involved. If all the males in the world develop sister like respect for every woman, the percent of such females will become zero. Though it may sound politically incorrect, but I feel a strange satisfaction when I come to know that some woman trapped a rascal kind of man and ruined him. It seems to me that this woman has taken revenge on all the men of such mentality! Because otherwise, a human female is bound to tolerate ogling eyes, unwanted touches, vulgar remarks and numerous offesive behaviors. Things are not different in any village or town or metro. Nor does her education or financial status help her. She has to suffer quietly always as long as she wants to have a respectable position (?) in the society. From womb to cradle to school to college to road to workplace to home, she has to suffer and struggle..

I wonder why the hell we celebrate the festivals like Raksha-bandhan or Navratra when the sisters and mothers in our country are so miserable!